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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Less than 6 weeks til I'm a Dad (help!) (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Beetroot
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Hello all parents,

All things being well I will become a father in less than 6 weeks time. I'd like some insight into how to manage sleep during the early months of having a baby.

My problem is that I am a light sleeper. I will wake at any sound and therefore have to dull out background noises with white noise (there's actually another topic for discussion in there). I'm also very safety conscious and am not comfortable using ear plugs (particularly as my wife will sleep through absolutely anything).

Any thoughts, guidance, comments, observations or humorous responses very welcome.
RiffClown
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Kiss sleep goodbye. You might want to manage sleep but your hands will be full managing to sleep. Your wife will need all of the rest she can get for several days as her body has to recover from a very traumatic experience.

Remember that a newborn is a shared responsibilty. When our daughter was very young, the smallest cough would have us both at her bedside. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

The best advice is to sleep when the baby sleeps and be ready for anything. If sleep schedules become an issue due to work/job responsibilities, then naps in the evening are a good idea.

BTW, Congratulations and GOOD LUCK!!!! Smile
Rob "Riff, the Magical Clown" Eubank aka RiffClown
<BR>http://www.riffclown.com
<BR>Magic is not the method, but the presentation.
dpe666
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Be afraid. Be very afraid. Smile
Samuel Catoe
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If it is a boy, buy a leash and collar. If it is a girl, buy a shotgun and a shovel.
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ChrisZampese
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Congratulations!
Yeah, preety much forget sleep! You might be lucky and have a little angel that sleeps all night, but don't count on it!
As you can see in my Avatar, I took the 'sleep when the baby sleeps' idea quite literally! Its pretty much the only way to go if you actually want some sleep.
As for waking in the night, you will (eventually) get used to the little noises the baby makes, and only wake when it is something unusual. If you think you will always wake up because you are a light sleeper, then give a couple of months and you will be tired enough to sleep through a live Metallica Concert!

Having said all that, like most Fathers, I wouldnt trade Connor for anything, and all those moments are truly precious memories!

Have fun, life is about to take a new and wonderous turn,

Chris
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are
dpe666
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Quote:
On 2004-08-15 21:18, ChrisZampese wrote:
Congratulations!
I wouldnt trade Connor for anything, and all those moments are truly precious memories!

You can trade in your kids? Why wasn't I TOLD?! Smile
Samuel Catoe
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Quote:
You can trade in your kids? Why wasn't I TOLD?! Smile

Sure you can. Most kids will garner a box of rocks and a Kit Kat but every now and then you get a kid that can command a Snickers.
Author of Illusions of Influence, a treatise on Equivoque.
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irossall
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Congratulations Beetroot. Enjoy every second with your new baby because they really do grow up fast. I would Love to turn back the clock and experience my Daughter's babyhood again.
As far as loss of sleep goes, it depends on the baby and the environment. The baby phase will pass more quickly than you probably think and your sleep patterns will get back to normal.
As a single parent living with my Daughter I do have one solid piece of advice, change your baby's diapers every chance you get. It is my belief that changing diapers, bathing and feeding your child is a very strong force in the bonding process.
One thought on Bonding. I thought that as the Father of my child, Bonding would just happen. When it didn't I was very upset with myself and wondered what was wrong with me. Even several weeks later I did not feel the emotional connection that I thought should be there. Yes, I Loved my daughter but I just didn't feel the "Bond". I sincerely believe that the changing of diapers as well as bathing, feeding, rocking to sleep and yes even getting up in the middle of the night are all key to the Bonding process.
My advise to Father's everywhere is to be part of the process of raising your children. Don't just do the things that we consider to be the Father's job, be a Mother as well as a Father. Your child will be better off and so will you.
Also, take lots and lots of pictures. I have hundreds of photo's taken just in my Daughter's first few months and every single one is pricless.
Congratulations again Beetroot. You are one lucky Guy. Smile
Iven Smile
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Margarette
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I like to tell my friends who are becoming parents for the first time that a baby is God's way of telling you that you are getting way too much sleep!
Raising a child is the most important job on the face of this planet, and it is strictly on-the-job training.

Margarette
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Al Kazam the Magic Man
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As a father of 5, (21 down to 13) I can heartely agree with all that has been shared above. Children sure a blessing from God's hand. I was present at all the births and even participated in a couple of them. Each of our kids were very different. Some slept all night long and others woke up every 3 or 4 hours for a feed. All were breast fed with one son feeding up to 18 months old. I highly recommend breast feeding. Our 13 year old has only visited a doctor a handful of times in her life. Due to my wifes tiredness the last three kids all ended up in our bed on most nights after their feeds with both mum and child falling asleep together. I've done it all, changed diapers, bathed them, clothed them, fed them, rocked them to sleep when my wife was too tired. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. Not for even one of the kids. (Just kiddin)
As for taking photos, I highly recommend it. I even took a video movie of the actual birth of one of our sons. A great thing to have. Even now when our kids have new friends come to our house they love to take out their newborn photos and show them around. I'm sure glad I took them.

Best of luck to you my friend

JoJo
Al Kazam --> Magic guy in Perth Australia
pikacrd
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No matter what I would not trade the sleepless nights for anything. My little girl is worth not sleeping any day. You will soon forget all of the nights awake and one smile will melt all of the frustration away. It is the best.

Good luck to you and your wife enjoy every second.
“Indubitably, Magic is one of the subtlest and most difficult of the sciences and arts. There is more opportunity for errors of comprehension, judgment and practice than in any other branch of physics”. William S. Burroughs 1914-1997 American Writer
Beetroot
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Thanks for the responses everyone - it's really encouraging.

I'll be doing everything that my wife will do except breast feed Smile . I'm really looking forward to it. My wife can sleep through anything (she slept through a rock concert at college - so the won't have any problem there).

I'll have to take naps when I can but this will take some getting used to. There have been only 1 or 2 times in my life (from my earliest memory) when I've managed to go to sleep at anything other than bed time (not including being ill), so this will be a pretty new experience for me.

I've been trying to plan my paternity leave (we get 10 days leave in England) - I wasn't sure whether to take 10 days as a block or distribute it a bit. Still not quite decided but I think it's becoming clearer now.

Cheers all,

Beetroot
irossall
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What JoJo said about breast feeding is no understatement. Breast feeding is most important for the first 72 hours of the baby's life. I was fortunate that the Mother of my Daughter agreed to breastfeed while in the hospital. Fortunately for my Daughter (but not for the Mother) it was 4 days before Daughter and Mother left the hospital, so my Daughter had the benefit of Breast milk more than the 72 hour minimum.
It seems that science has yet to synthesize the chemical in human milk that boosts the immune system. The benefit is lifelong.
Iven Smile
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Beetroot
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Although I can't breast feed myself, we do have the breast pumps so that I can at least do second best.

The nursery is just about fully equipped now. I just need to make a couple of shelves and my wife needs to finish some cushions for her chair and we're done.

My wife has already charged me with the duty of the "birds and the bees" explanation well in advance of the event. I've no problem with this. I'll have to be on my best behaviour though as I'm tempted to make things up just to be funny (a la the father of Calvin when he explains to his son where he came from - for those who know Calvin and Hobbes).
dpe666
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It is VERY important that you have the baby breast-fed. That way when 2:00am rolls around, you don't have to do it. You get to sleep. "Oh, honey, go out into the living room to do that, would ya? The light from the lamp is keeping me awake." Smile
Reis O'Brien
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Run, Beetroot... run far away....
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Wolfgang
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My advice: enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

The sleepless nights, endless crying, and dirty diapers seem like an eternal punishment when you're dealing with them. But after they're over, you wish like hell they weren't.
"Sure, I do Scotch and Soda in every show. What? You mean there's a trick by that name?"
Matt Bartz
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Just a tip from a friend that recently had a baby girl. If you've got a videogame system, get a wireless controller and play your heart out, while holding the child in your lap, until it goes back to sleep. At least it beats watching whatever is on t.v. at 3am.
Mr. Ed
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Beetroot, a few pieces of advice.

1st. Don't sweat what's coming, just deal with what is here. In the begining a baby needs food, warmth, love. As the child develops and her needs become more sophisticated, so does your experience as a parent devlope enabling you to deal with her.

2nd. Spend as much time with your child as you can. Tell them you love them often and from the heart.

3rd. I always recommend new fathers start a letter to their child on or before their birthday. On the day of his/her birth write an entry in a journal telling your new child how you feel. As their life goes on add to it. Mine is an ever evolving note to my daughters which I will give to them when they are adults.

4th. Good luck and have fun
He who laughs, lasts.
irossall
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Wolfgang, I couldn't agree more with your statement, I would give a Kings ransom to get those precious moments back.

Mr. Ed, I also totaly agree with you, especialy your 2nd and 3rd point.
I tell my Daughter that I Love her very much EVERY single day along with many Hugs & Kisses.
And I started the "Letter To My Loving Daughter" when she was about a week old. I add to this letter at least once a month and I also take a hand impression every year on her Birthday using the Crayola Modeling Compound (great stuff).
Fatherhood is GREAT!
Iven Smile
Give the gift of Life, Be an Organ Donor.
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