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The Village Idiots
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Elite user
Orlando
464 Posts

Profile of The Village Idiots
I called my ex wife tulip, she called me pansy.

Posted: Sep 29, 2004 9:59pm
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"Leave him in peace"... defined

1. be an arm ornament when he wants you to be

2. be a couch ornament when he wants to go out with the guys

3. be his mommy

4. be his nurse when he is sick

5. be his own personal chef

6. be his laundress

7. be his tailor

8. follow sports/magic enough to carry on a conversation with him when his buddies are not available

9. if you can't bring yourself to follow sports, then remain quiet while the game is on or go shopping

10. only go shopping if you are spending your own money

11. remember that he only cares how much money you saved him if you bought something for HIM

12. keep yourself size weight appropriate and in shape while he sits on the couch watching his beer belly grow.

13. Keep all hair on your body either shaved or trimmed and when you are done with that, braid his ear and nose hairs for him

14. be sympathetic to the fact that he hasn't gone out for beers with his buddies in at least 2 nights

15. be a good mother

16. make sure the kids are kept busy at all times so they aren't bothering him

17. don't complain when you have to play supermom getting the kids to all the things they are involved in to keep them out of his hair

18. understand that he only goes to risque bars for the companionship of his buddies

19. give him complete control of the remote

20. watch whatever he wants to watch and act like it is the best thing you have seen in a while

21. be tolerent

22. keep the house spotless...even if you are working 40 hours a week and running the kids to all the events to keep them out of his hair. Just don't disturb him to vaccum under his feet while he sits on the couch watching sports

23. don't look at other men

24. be a true lady

25. be a wh*re

26. always be in the mood when he is

27. if he isn't in the mood and you are. Too bad.

28. give him LOTS of space and never worry about where he goes

29. don't expect any attention from him unless you are able to talk sports or whatever HE is interested in

30. forgive him when he forgets birthdays, anniversaries or arrangements you make because HIS agenda is MUCH more important that anyone elses

31. understand that your body is out of whack from having HIS kids and so he will WANT to look at other women

32. be efficient so that you can get everything done in less steps so you still energy to be his slave and get him a beer.
Some are born idiots.

Some are made idiots.

Some have idiocy thrust upon them.
Basil
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Regular user
Green Bay, WI
117 Posts

Profile of Basil
Quote:
On 2004-09-20 13:59, emeline wrote:
And men need a brain !!!


Not really. We already think with another part of our anatomy. Smile
paulajayne
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Inner circle
London England
1160 Posts

Profile of paulajayne
Quote:
On 2004-10-02 00:29, Basil wrote:
Quote:
On 2004-09-20 13:59, emeline wrote:
And men need a brain !!!


Not really. We already think with another part of our anatomy. Smile


So very true.


Paula
Paula Jay - Magic to Remember -
---------------------------------
I once wrote a book on elephants, I think paper would have been better.
----
Werner G. Seitz
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Inner circle
3131 Posts

Profile of Werner G. Seitz
Quote:
On 2004-10-02 00:29, Basil wrote:
Not really. We already think with another part of our anatomy. Smile
Does this mean small brain, large...whatever..or is it the other way around?
Can't figure that out... Smile
Learn a few things well.....this life is not long enough to do everything.....

( Words of wisdom from Albert Goshman ...it paid off for him - it might
as well for YOU!!!- My own magic is styled after that motto... Smile )
blindbo
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Special user
Bucks County, PA
790 Posts

Profile of blindbo
Sheesh, If what it takes is to go by them numbers, I'm expecting some serious man #1 happening. If all goes well, we can even skip man #2 and the next 66 numbers.
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