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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Bill Ligon
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A sure sign of a misspent youth:
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What are you when you walk out of the bathroom?

Finnish!

Posted: Nov 11, 2008 5:16pm
And before you go in?

Russian!
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
joseph
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And also on the way to it?
Iran...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
aitchy
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One I used recently off the cuff that got a great reaction was a woman started clapping wildly after each trick - but I wanted to save the applause up a bit so I used "don't clap on your own - someone will throw you a fish" - which got Huge laughs that kept comeing in rolls every ten seconds - went on for the best part of 60 seconds- I was shocked but happy.
joseph
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Instead of milk and cookies leave Santa a Weight Watchers bar and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds!...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Neznarf
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NY then AZ now
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Q: What goes "oooo, oooo, oooo?"

A: A cow with no lips!
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
joseph
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“Santa Claus has the right idea ... visit people only once a year.”
...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Bill Ligon
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A sure sign of a misspent youth:
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What's another word for "thesaurus?"
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
joseph
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Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Blackghost83
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Selden, NY
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This one's for adults...

After every statement, say to yourself, "rubber buns and liqour"
What'd you eat for breakfast?
rubber buns and liqour
what'd you eat for lunch?
rubber buns and liqour
what'd you eat for dinner?
rubber buns and liqour
What do you do when your girlfriend's naked?
rubber buns and liqour!

Isn't that a good one?
thank you, thank you, it's original.
When asked, "Would anybody play cards with you today?" Ricky Jay simply responded, "Sure."
"Silly People."
joseph
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On Christmas morning a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful diamond necklace.
What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said.
That evening just before opening presents, the husband came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it only to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
rick727
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Be alert. The world needs lerts.
Practice what you present.

Present what you practice.
joseph
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“Mom, are you the tooth fairy?”
Assuming he was old enough to hear the truth, she replied, “Yes Timmy, I am.”
Timmy seemed to take this news quite well.
But as he headed for the door, he slowly turned back toward his mother with a curious look on his face and said, “Wait a minute mom. How do you get into the other kids’ houses?”...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Neznarf
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Books I'll Be Reading This Summer:


HOW TO WRITE BIG BOOKS
by Warren Peace

I LOST MY BALANCE
by Eileen Dover and Phil Down

THE GERMAN BANK ROBBERY
by Hans Zupp

I HATE THE SUN
by Gladys Knight

PRISON SECURITY
by Barb Dwyer
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
joseph
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What's the difference between one yard and two yards?
A fence...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
TomBaker
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Saw on Ebay where a guy was selling a big collection of old CERTS...you know those breath things...

All in "mint condition"

I did a coin flip to see whether I should post that one...and lost.
joseph
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You know when you are too fat when you haul butt, you have to make 2 trips...
You step on the scale and it says..."One at a time, please."...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Tom Lauten
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I slept like a baby last night.

I woke up crying every four hours and s**t myself.
Living at and loving Loch Ness!
joseph
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Tom Lauten
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They've discovered a bird that can take off and land vertically... it's called a Harrier Pigeon.
Living at and loving Loch Ness!
joseph
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There are 2 rules for success in life:

Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes)
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