The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3..25..47..69..91..113~114~115~116~117..124..130..136..142..148~149~150 [Next]
SoCalPro
View Profile
Inner circle
Southern California
1603 Posts

Profile of SoCalPro
Remember kids....... you can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you cannot pick your friends nose. Smile
Thomas Wayne
View Profile
Inner circle
Alaska
2240 Posts

Profile of Thomas Wayne
You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends... but you can't wipe your friends on your pant leg.
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as me men were pulling me out, a shark bit me leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?

"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut me hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into me eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously.

"Aaarrrr," said the pirate, "It was me first day with me hook."

Bill
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17083 Posts

Profile of joseph
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of...

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have ...

Televangelists: The Pro rasslers of religion...

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes...

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Tom Lauten
View Profile
Special user
690 Posts

Profile of Tom Lauten
Definition of aFreudian slip: "Saying one thing and meaning a mother."
Living at and loving Loch Ness!
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
When I was a little kid, I tried to check out a book from the library.

The librarian said to me, "Why on earth do you want to read Advice to Young Mothers?"

I said, "I'm collecting moths."
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17083 Posts

Profile of joseph
If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Dynamike
View Profile
Eternal Order
FullTimer
24107 Posts

Profile of Dynamike
Dynamike proves a black cow can give white milk.
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17083 Posts

Profile of joseph
Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed?
He had low elf esteem ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
My mother and father were cousins. That's why I look so much alike.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17083 Posts

Profile of joseph
This is a passenger announcement:
The train on platform one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve has come in sideways...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
FuDD
View Profile
Regular user
Tucson, Az.
150 Posts

Profile of FuDD
Quote:
On 2008-08-29 12:27, bigdaddymagic wrote:


Q. what do you call a girl with one leg shorter then the other ?

A. I lean


What do you call a vato(homie/gangsta) with one leg shorter than the other?
"Not even Holmes"

Same guys drops his papers,wind takes some away.
"hey come back here essay"

When the house fell on him.

"Get off me holmes"
may you be filled with loving kindness
http://www.williamsmagic.com
http://www.celebratemagic.com
Tom Lauten
View Profile
Special user
690 Posts

Profile of Tom Lauten
Some people are like a Slinky . Not really good for anything ...but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down stairs.
Living at and loving Loch Ness!
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17083 Posts

Profile of joseph
What do you get when cross a godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
renfrini
View Profile
New user
9 Posts

Profile of renfrini
I swear to buddha this is a real story
I went to the doc to have my prostate examined, and just like the cliche, he snapped the glove loudly on his hand. I nervously asked,"did you have to do that with such gusto?" to which he replied, "its the only fun part of this job."
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17083 Posts

Profile of joseph
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Thames Iron
View Profile
New user
8 Posts

Profile of Thames Iron
I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day. She said get me something with a small diamond in it. So I got her a drill bit - now she can do her own DIY
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17083 Posts

Profile of joseph
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Neznarf
View Profile
Inner circle
NY then AZ now
1840 Posts

Profile of Neznarf
My brother married a Japanese girl.

When you go into their house you

only have to remove one shoe.
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes)
 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3..25..47..69..91..113~114~115~116~117..124..130..136..142..148~149~150 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2020 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.47 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL