What do you call an American drwaing?
A Yankee Doodle

What is brown, has 2 humps, and is found in Alaska?
A lost Camel.

What do you call a cat who swallowed a duck?
A duck-filled fatty puss

That last one cracked me up.

Thanks Bill.

What goes Tick Tick woof woof. A Watch Dog

You mean quacked you up?...

Jimbo, your jokes are really funny. And they are really quaking me up

Thanks James.

Why is the letter A like a flower..... Because the B comes after it.

What has a bottom at the top?....... Your legs.

How do you keep idiots waiting.



I will tel you all later.

I didn't know if to pout this on the limmerick page but I think its funny so I put it here as well.


There was a young lad called hardwick
By a cricket ball he was struck
And now you can read on his tombstone
Hardwick, hard ball, Hard Luck

"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That is not my dog."...

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers...

A priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol
on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle
on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why
do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's
done it again!"

If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware. ...

The time of day can have a great effect on a woman. Just consider the difference between an evening gown and a nightgown.

If football players get athletes' foot, what do astronauts get?

Missile-toe!

Who doesn't love the corny stuff.

If you live by the corn, you will die by the corn.



I'd die that way any day!

What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad. ...

On the radio this morning...

"I like playing chess with the old men in the park...trouble is finding 32 of 'em"