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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Wolflock
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South Africa
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Smile

That was good Phil.
Wolflock
Pro Magician & Escapologist
Member of JMC (Johannesburg Magic Circle)
South Africa
joseph
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Please ignore my
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I have the body of a god......Budda...........
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
The Donster
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Pats Buddahs Head and Rubs his belly.
Dayle
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotamy!

Cheers
Dayle
World's Most Accomplished Female Escape Artist
http://www.sherryandkrallmagic.com
Patrick Differ
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Little Mary
Quite contrary
Upon the ice did frisk.
Wasn't she
A silly girl
Her little *

What's up?
A two-letter word for "above."

No, what's up?
About twice as far as half-way.

No, really, what's up?
My time here.
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.

Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.
Lyndel
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wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
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Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it one day.

She took some powerful laxitive to pass the time away.
The laxitive it didn't work, and the time it didn't pass.

Now if you want to know what time it is, just look up Mary's
>
>
>
>
>Uncle... He has a pocket watch!

Lyndel
Image
Wards Back
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1st Atom: "Hey! I just lost an electron!"
2nd Atom: "Are you sure?"
1st Atom: "Yeah, I'm positive!"
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Smile

Chris.
joseph
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A baby seal walks into a club...

Too sick?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Wolflock
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Mary had a little lamb
It walked into a pylon
10 000 volts
went up its a**
And turned its wool to nylon.
Wolflock
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Member of JMC (Johannesburg Magic Circle)
South Africa
joseph
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Bumper sticker:
If you can read this, I lost my trailer......
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
CamelotFX
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Okay, Patrick, andale!

A magician in Guadalajara
Bought himself a pet capybara
"It's not very big
But it looks like a pig
So we'll have pork tamales tomarra!"

Arriba! Ole!

A magician, the best you could wish up,
Said "I've taken as much as you dish up!
I'm going away
To pray every day
And return as a full-fledged Arch-Bishop!"
joseph
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If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut? ....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
The Donster
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Maybe Hes one of those Star Wars Fans.
The Mirror Images
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A man went into a store and asked the clerk for some "Polish Sausage."
The clerk looked at him and asked "Are you Polish?"
The shopper, clearly offended, said "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you
something. If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was
Italian?
Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or, if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was
Jewish?
Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would
ya,
huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
And if I asked you for some Irish Whiskey, would you ask me if I was
Irish?
What about Canadian Bacon, would you ask me if I was Canadian?"
"Well, I probably wouldn't."
With self - indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you
ask me if I'm Polish just because I asked for Polish Sausage?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're at Home Depot."


Michael
Steven and Michael, The Mirror Images
The MOST Identical Twin Illusionist
http://www.themirrorimages.com
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- Liquid Steel NEW
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scott b.
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What do you call a snail on a ship?

A snailor


*rimshot*
Thanks! Scott B.

"I don't know the key to success . . . but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby
daffydoug
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Look mom! I've got
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Quote:
On 2005-02-17 15:20, The Mirror Image wrote:
A man went into a store and asked the clerk for some "Polish Sausage."
The clerk looked at him and asked "Are you Polish?"
The shopper, clearly offended, said "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you
something. If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was
Italian?
Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or, if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was
Jewish?
Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would
ya,
huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
And if I asked you for some Irish Whiskey, would you ask me if I was
Irish?
What about Canadian Bacon, would you ask me if I was Canadian?"
"Well, I probably wouldn't."
With self - indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you
ask me if I'm Polish just because I asked for Polish Sausage?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're at Home Depot."


Michael


Har har har!! That one is hilarious!!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
Patrick Differ
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How's the weather in Mexico?
Chile today, hot tamale.

Thanks, CamelotFX! Hicisteme un dia bien. (You made my day!)
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.

Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.
daffydoug
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Look mom! I've got
14062 Posts

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A pirate and a sailor are in a bar, taking turns boasting about their adventures on the high seas.

The sailor notices that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch.

So he asks 'How did you end up with the peg leg?"

Pirate says 'We were in a storm at sea. Suddenly I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as they were pulling me out, the shark bit me leg off! Arrrhh!"
Sailor says "***!" "How about the hook? How did you get that?"

Pirate says "Arrrhh! Me and my maties were plundering in the Middle East, and I was caught stealing from a merchant, and the punishment for stealing in the Middle East is they chop your hand off! Arrrhhh!"

Sailor says "****!" "How did you get the eyepatch?"

Pirate says "Arrrhhh! A seagull dropping fell into me eye!"

"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?!!??"

"Arrrhhh! It was me first day with the hook!"
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
The Mirror Images
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Michigan/USA
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Thanks daffydoug. Glad someone like it. I mean no offense to it...Please post italian jokes....they are some time funny.

Ok for joke wise....

Why do blondes that work in a lumber yard have TGIF on there boots....Toes Go In First

Michael
Steven and Michael, The Mirror Images
The MOST Identical Twin Illusionist
http://www.themirrorimages.com
Check out our latest new effect
- Liquid Steel NEW
- MotoBox NEW
- MotoMation NEW
- Voyager
joseph
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17176 Posts

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I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.......
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes)
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