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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts 
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I was in a restaurant the other night when I tried to catch the waitress' eye -- but it rolled under somebody else' table!
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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KyletheGreat Special user Georgia 560 Posts
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Why don't chickens wear pants?
cause their peckers are on their face! I am really sorry...I just found it kindof humorous... |
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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts
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I used to go out with a girl who had long shining black hair -- hanging down from her armpits.
I remember the first time I kissed her. Her eyes said "Yes! Yes!" but there was no nose on her face. Her name was Virginia. I called her "Virgin" for short, but not for long.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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KyletheGreat Special user Georgia 560 Posts
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I was watching the news just the other day when something came on that I just had to tell...
THERE WAS A KID BORN WITHOUT HIS EYELIDS!!!!!!! It happened in Michigan. The kid was a boy and when he emerged from his mother it was noticed that he lacked eyelids!! So, it is a scientific fact that you cannot live without your eyelids, so when the doctors circumcised him, they just took the skin tissue from down below and used it to surgically install eyelids. After the surgery, the doctors made an anouncement: "The surgery was a complete success! The kid is a little COCK-EYED but other than that he should be just fine! BWAHAHAHAHA...okay...I have had enough... |
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joseph Eternal Order Please ignore my 17444 Posts
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My first job was proofreading at the M&M factory.....
I used to make chocolate chip cookies, but I got tired of sweeping all the M&M shells off the floor......
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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joseph Eternal Order Please ignore my 17444 Posts
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Why did God create man before woman?
He didn't want any advice.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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BSutter Special user Sitting on a pile of 582 Posts
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What did the Nanny Goat say to the Billy Goat?
You can hug me and kiss me, but please don't kid me. |
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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts
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Why did the ram run off the cliff?
He didn't see the ewe turn!
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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Sonny Vegas Regular user Chicago, Illinois - USA 199 Posts
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Bill, you got a million of em'!
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The Donster Inner circle 4817 Posts
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Bill Ligon Keep The Gnu Jokes Coming we need them.
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God-glorified Special user 697 Posts
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Never play leapfrog with a unicorn
Ephes. 2:8-9
For by GRACE are ye saved through faith; and that NOT OF YOURSELVES: it is the gift of God: NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast. |
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Phil Thomas Inner circle Newark, Ohio 1117 Posts
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I think my wife has been cheating on me. Every time I come home the parrot yells "Quick! Out the window!"
"If we lose the sense of the mysterious, life is no more than a snuffed out candle."
Albert Einstein |
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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts
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A preacher once said to me, "Young man, do you entertain evil thoughts?"
I replied, "No sir, as a matter of fact, they entertain me!"
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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blazes816 Special user Wichita, Kansas 522 Posts
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A teacher says it's impossible to be swallowed by a whale
littlergirl-"Jonah got swallowed by a whale" teacher-"No it's impossible" LG-" when I go to heaven I'll ask him" T-"He didn't go to heaven" LG-" Then you ask him" |
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joseph Eternal Order Please ignore my 17444 Posts
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I just moved upstairs from a bank, and now my assets over 3 million dollars.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts
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Most guys have to search for women, but the guitar player has his pick.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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Brent McLeod Inner circle 1798 Posts
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......She was ugly- She even worked at the local cookie factory.
In fact she was so ugly they used to push her face in the dough to make the Gorilla Biscuits!!!...............
Professional Corporate Entertainer
https://brentmcleodmagic.com/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Pt3US6wKpY&list=LL&index=3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vToeLymxmTA |
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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts
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She was the kind of woman men look at twice. They don't believe it the first time.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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kOnO Special user 548 Posts
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Q: "How many women can a man marry?"
A: "Sixteen," add it up, the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer." kOnO
It is a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
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DustyDave New user Santa Fe, New Mexico 44 Posts
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A termite walks into a saloon and asks, "Is your bar-tender here?"
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Posted: Jun 26, 2005 01:12 am 
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