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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (5 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Southwest Sam
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~or~ Does anyone know any Blonde Magician's On Horses Jokes??? :O))
I just had to
-SW Sam
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joseph
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Quote:
How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck-an-ear

I thought that was expensive corn? (a buck an ear)

Anyways, I injured my knee during a high school football game......The bench collapsed.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
daffydoug
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What does an 80 year old woman have between her br****s? Her naval!! Waka waka!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
Southwest Sam
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"OLD MAN" doesn't begin with br, so I guess that's not it,,,
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Wolflock
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Quote:
On 2004-12-31 07:52, daffydoug wrote:
How do you shoot a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun! How do you shoot a pink elephant? You squeeze him until he turns blue, and then you shoot him with a blue elephant gun!


How do you shoot a yello elephant? Tell dirty jokes till he turns pink, strangle him till he turns blue, shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a green elephant? Make him afraid till he turns yellow, Tell dirty jokes till he turns pink, strangle him till he turns blue, shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a purple elephant?...





Have you ever seen a green elephant?
Wolflock
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joseph
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A farmer is a man outstanding in his field.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
daffydoug
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A lady opens up her fridge to find a RABBIT sitting on the shelf. She says "What are you doing here?" He says "This is a Westing- House, ain't it?" She says "Yeah"

"Well, I'm westing!"

Posted: Jan 4, 2005 8:42pm
We're all that M word .

A cop sees a fellow stumbling along drunk as a skunk at 3;30 in the morning. Cop says "Hey buddy, where are you going?" Guy says "I'm going to a *hic* lecture."

Cop says "where are you going to find a lecture at 3;30 in the morning?" Guy says " My*hic* wife!"
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
joseph
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It was so hot in Texas yesterday, the trees were following the dogs around.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
WhiteAngel
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Joseph I laughed at the computer monitor, very hard.
True illusionists strive to decieve the eye AND the mind.....
Phil Thomas
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A woman calls her employer and says she can't come in today because she is sick. "What's wrong"? her boss asks. "I have anal glaucoma" replies the woman. "Anal glaucoma"? said her boss. "What's that"? "Well", said the woman, "I can't see my ass coming into work today."
"If we lose the sense of the mysterious, life is no more than a snuffed out candle."

Albert Einstein
daffydoug
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Ha Ha Ha!!

How do you drive Helen Keller crazy? Lock her in a room and stick doorknobs all over the walls!

Quote:
On 2004-10-04 11:34, flobiwan wrote:
I thought you guys might like some of these lines I use. And no, I'm not ashamed to admit it!


One atom says to another, "I lost an electron yesterday"
The other one says, "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive"




Alternate answer. "Oh really? I didn't even know you were running!"

Judge: You're charged with vagrancy. How do you plead. Are ya' guilty or not guilty?

Stan: Not guilty.

Judge: On what grounds?

Stan: "We weren't on the grounds, we were sleeping on the park bench"
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Wolflock
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A favourite of mine and it is a true fact: Here in South Africa, when a Traffic Cop pulls you over and steps up to your window, His first question is normally, "Are you the driver of this vehicle?" (Uhhhh... No? The driver is sitting in the back seat.) don't say this though, he tends to write out another ticket. LOL.

Regards
Wolflock
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The Donster
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Have you ever had a police officer pull you over and he says to you, "Your eyes look bloodshot have you been drinking? Then you reply, "Gee your eyes look glazed have you been eating donuts."
joseph
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Doctor tell old man, "You have diabetes and Alzheimer's disease."
Old man says, "Well, at least I don't have diabetes.".....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Wolflock
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Not yet. LOL. But Cape Town is well known for other things that glaze the eyes. So I would probably ask if he has been smoking.
Probably get a ticket for that too.
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The Donster
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Wolfie think of all the places you can go to with those tickets. If he is on the stuff ask him his name and when he asks you who you are you tell him his name. Be funny seeing him write himself a ticket.
daffydoug
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How did they punish Helen Keller when she was bad? Rearanged the furniture.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
The Donster
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What goes click click did I get it yet. click click Did I get it yet? Helen Keller doing rubiks cube.
daffydoug
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I get no respect. When I was kid and I played in the sandbox the cats covered me up!
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I get no respect my mom took me to the zoo and they thanked her for returning me.
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