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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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joseph
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Did you know that the number of alcoholics in this country is staggering?.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
daffydoug
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What happened when 5000 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
The Donster
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I guess that also was Hare today and gone tomorrow.
joseph
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I asked the professor if the Cheetah is the fastest thing on earth, and he said, "No; It's what's being chased by it." ..........
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
daffydoug
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What do you get when you cross a centipede with a pig? Bacon and legs!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
kihei kid
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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "got any grapes?"

The bartender replies "no."

Next day the same duck comes in and asks the bartender "got any grapes?"

The bartender replies "I told you, no."

Next day here comes the duck again and asks the bartender "got any grapes?"

Bartender replies "no and if you ask me again I'm going to nail your feet to the floor"?

Next day the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender "got any nails?"

Bartender replies "no."

Duck says "got any grapes?"

Posted: Jan 8, 2005 4:39pm
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Just want to apologize for that last joke, I'm having a bad day today, I lost my lucky rabbit's foot.
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In loving memory of Hughie Thomasson 1952-2007.

You brought something beautiful to this world, you touched my heart, my soul and my life. You will be greatly missed.

Until we meet again “my old friend”.
daffydoug
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A turtle was mugged by a snail. After it happened, they asked him "Can you tell us exactly what happened?" turtle says "No. It all happened so FAST!"
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
bnadworn
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How do you get down off a horse?
You don't... You get down off a chicken.

I knew a cannibal that came home late and his wife gave him the cold shoulder.

They say you are what you eat. I told them I could not be a ham since I am a vegetarian. They told me I must eat a lot of corn then.

A man was driving along with traffic and gets pulled over by the cops. The police officer informs him he was driving well over the speed limit. The man replies that he was just going along with everyone else.
The police officer then asks the man if he ever went fishing? Yes, replies the man. The police officer grins and says: "and have you ever caught ALL the fish?"

- Brian Nadworny
"They say the hand is quicker than the eye but I won't believe it until I see it."
joseph
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Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I'm a schizophranic,
and so am I............
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
The Donster
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Uh what is the Lamest Joke that anyone has Heard Here ?
joseph
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The schizophranic got so mad, he was beside himself.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
daffydoug
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Roses are red , violets are purple,

sugar's sweet, and so's maple syrple

I'm the seventh out of seven sons,

My pappy was a pistol, I'm a son of a gun! (Roger Miller)
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
The Donster
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Roses are red violets are blue I've been home sick two days with the asian flu.
bnadworn
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
This one doesn't
"They say the hand is quicker than the eye but I won't believe it until I see it."
joseph
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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.......
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Chris Keppel
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Ok, now it's 6 pages long and 842 horrible jokes later and I still got nothing.
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daffydoug
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Ohhh! That's corny!

I get no respect! My wife met me the other day at my front door wearing a beautiful see through neglige. Yeah, but she was going OUT the door!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
m.ruetz
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Why wouldn't the skeleton jump out of the plane? No guts.
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daffydoug
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Did you hear about the skeleton who rented an apartment? He didn't ask for air conditioning, because he came with his own.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
The Donster
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Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn't go out on a Saturday night because he didn't have no-body to go with.
Posted: Jan 9, 2005 9:06pm
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What do you feed a hungry computer. you feed it micro-chips.
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