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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17308 Posts ![]() |
Did you hear about the giant who threw up? It's all over town....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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jas![]() New user 6 Posts ![]() |
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A FSH! |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17308 Posts ![]() |
If Lassie liked cantelope, would she be a melon-collie dog?..
osted: Dec 23, 2006 7:55am Some Holiday humor: (and I use that term loosely) What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No L (Noel)....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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pkg![]() Inner circle The City of Ithobaal I son of Hiram I 1356 Posts ![]() |
The Advantage of Being an ARAB :
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. One day, he decided that he would love to plant potatoes and herbs in his garden, but he knew he was alone and too old and weak. His son was in college in Paris , so the old man sent him an e-mail explaining the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, that you would help me and dig up the garden for me. I love you, your father." The following day, the old man received a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved father, please don't touch the garden. That is where I have hidden 'the THING.' I love you, too Ahmed." At 4pm the FBI and the Rangers visited the house of the old man and took the whole garden apart, searching every inch. But they couldn't find anything. Disappointed, they left the house. The next day, the old man received another e-mail from his son: " Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That is all I could do for you from here. Your loving son, Ahmed".
Double posters should be shot!
No really!! |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17308 Posts ![]() |
The Encounter.....
Friend:"Last night I was visited by some tall blue men with slanted eyes." Mate:"Did they take you to their spaceship?" Friend:"No,they took me to their police car."...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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bond19![]() Inner circle Blackpool, England 1330 Posts ![]() |
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and say to the bar tender "A pint for me and 10 pints for the giraffe."
The barman pours the drinks and watches at the giraffe downs all 10 pints, and then collapses in a heap on the floor. The man stands up, steps over the giraffe and heads for the door when the bar man shouts "Hey mate, you can't leave that lyin here" and the man replies "It's not a lion, it a giraffe!!" Posted: Jan 21, 2007 8:52am A police officer is driving along when he pass a car. In the back he notices there are 10 penguins sitting in the back seat. The officer pulls the man over and says, "I'm very sorry sir but you can't drive around with 10 penguins in the back of a car" The man asks why? Puzzled, the officer barks, "You just can't ok, take them to the zoo immediately!" The following day the officer is driving along when he passes the same car from yesterday, and he notices there are STILL 10 penguins in the back seat. Again the officer pulls the car over and furiously yell's at the man, "Look mate, I though I made myself clear, you can't drive around with 10 pengiuns in the back of your car. I told you yesterday to take them to the zoo?" The man replies, "I did, we're going the the beach today" |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17308 Posts ![]() |
A fly said to a spider,"What's your favourite music?"
The spider said,"Wrap." ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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bond19![]() Inner circle Blackpool, England 1330 Posts ![]() |
An Irish man walks into a library and says to the librerian
"Fish and chips please". The librarian says, "Sorry this is a library not a fish and chip shop". The Irish man says, sorry and whispers in a very low voice - "Fish and chips please" |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17308 Posts ![]() |
Where was the first dwarf star discovered?
Fantasy Island... Posted: Feb 3, 2007 11:11am I just finished my floating protractor, but it is not angle proof.. ..
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Bill Ligon![]() Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts ![]() |
Quote:
On 2007-02-03 11:11, joseph wrote: Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh! ![]()
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17308 Posts ![]() |
Then there's the General Custer escape trick...cannot be done surrounded....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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magicnorm![]() Veteran user 397 Posts ![]() |
Seal walks into a bar and the bartender says:
"What'll you have" Seal says: "Anything but a Canadian Club." |
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Jonton![]() Veteran user New York City 336 Posts ![]() |
Good thing he walked into the bar and not the club next door, eh?
I Came, I Saw, I Conjured
www.jontaylornyc.com |
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The Mirror Images![]() Inner circle Michigan/USA 1980 Posts ![]() |
Wow I can't believe this thread is still going on. This is awesome!
OK, here is an old one that might have already been written but here it goes: Pete and Repeat are on a boat Pete jumps off who is left? Pete and Repeat are on a boat Pete jumps off who is left? Pete and Repeat are on a boat Pete jumps off who is left? Finally someone said Pete. Thanks for that.
Steven and Michael, The Mirror Images
The MOST Identical Twin Illusionist http://www.themirrorimages.com Check out our latest new effect - Liquid Steel NEW - MotoBox NEW - MotoMation NEW - Voyager |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17308 Posts ![]() |
What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Autumn Morning Star![]() Grammar Hostess Today, I corrected grammar in 1379 Posts ![]() |
Quote:
On 2007-02-04 10:53, joseph wrote: I don't know why, but I like really that one ![]() Autumn
Wonder is very necessary in life. When we're little kids, we're filled with wonder for the world - it's fascinating and miraculous. A lot of people lose that. They become cynical and jaded, especially in modern day society. Magic renews that wonder.
Doug Henning |
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Bob Sanders![]() Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20534 Posts ![]() |
Please Mr. Custer, I don't want to go...
Bob |
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dr chutney![]() Special user United Kingdom 518 Posts ![]() |
I always remember a superb cartoon with General Custer standing alone, his entire army lying dead around him, and completely surrounded by thousands of indians.
The caption read, "F&@* Me!" When I have very stressful days that image often comes back to me.
We're having a laugh!
Grab yourself a FREE Joke Ebook at http://thejester.biz |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17308 Posts ![]() |
Waiter, waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup.
Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling water. ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Atom3581![]() New user 63 Posts ![]() |
What do you call a dog with no hind legs and iron balls?
Sparky |
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