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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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magicoftomh
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I can tell this joke because I'm Irish.

What is an Irish 7 course meal?

A boiled potato and a six pack of pints.
Here's hoping everything you do hits the BULLSEYE!

Tom Hornikel
http://tjhornikel.cjb.net
joseph
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Did you ever wonder?......
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Sammy J.
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For the guys...

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it!
Sammy J. Teague
joseph
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At a diplomatic reception, the Mexican general appeared in a magnificent uniform, liberally bespattered with medals and decorations.
"That's most impressive," said the US ambassador. "Tell me, general, what did you get all those for?"
"In your money," replied the Mexican general, "about five dollars!" ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Dynamike
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What do you call a black man who flys a jet plane?






A pilot, you racist. Smile
joseph
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The movie was so bad, the people were waiting in line to get out...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
jocdoc
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This guy is driving his car through the countryside when he passes a farm with free range chickens running around rampant. Upon closer inspection, he notices that all of the chickens have 3 legs!

He stops by the farmhouse, knocks on the door and the farmer answers. The man asks him about the 3 legged birds and the farmer explains.

"I love to eat chicken and both my wife and son love chicken, as well. As our favorite part to eat is the legs, I bred these specially for 3 legs."

"That's amazing," said the man. "But, tell me - how do they taste?"

The farmer replies "Heck if I know. I can't catch the little f#&kers!
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
joseph
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A burgler breaks 2 windows in the house he's robbing....One to get in, and the other to get out...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Dynamike
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Kyle drove a car over a cliff wearing his RJOM. Kyle survided, but the RJOM did not.
Mark Roberts
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Unfortunately for agorophobics.....there's a cure....just around the corner
joseph
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Mark Roberts
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If a schizophrenic threatened to shoot himself...would it be known as a hostage crisis?
The Donster
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For josephs question about drinking pepsi in the coke factory. did you know that pepsi workers cant or are not allowed to drink coke products. the pepsi drivers cant even mention anything to you about the coke products in the store they could get fired.
joseph
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Hmmm...Interesting...
Anyway...
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who do we call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Mark Roberts
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Why is abbreviation such a long word?
joseph
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A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one. ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
jakeg
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Now that food has repaced my sex life, I can't even get into my own pants.
joseph
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A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
bigdaddymagic
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Q. what did the dog say to the cat ?

A. nothing animal's can't talk !

Q. what do you call a girl with one leg shorter then the other ?

A. I lean
Thanks'

Donny
joseph
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It was their fifth anniversary, and Al and Alice had just returned from the movies.
Alice was feeling romantic. 'Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?' she crooned.
'Why not?' Al grunted. 'Didn't I love you through four other shades?'...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (4 Likes)
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