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Wravyn
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An elderly couple was having a difficult time remembering things so they went to their Dr.
After some tests and blood being taken the Dr told them that it would be a few days before the test results were back, so in the mean time, to write themselves notes, that way they would be able to see what it was they were looking for or going to do.
That night they were watching TV and the man decided he wanted some ice cream.
His wife said, “You better write that down so you don’t forget.”
He replied, “I can remember ice cream, I don’t need to write that down.”
As he started towards the kitchen she asked him to get her a bowl too. “And you better write that down.”
“Bah,” he said, “I can remember ice cream for the both of us.”
Just as soon as he was to the kitchen, his wife spoke up and said, “Write this down, I want a banana, chocolate syrup, whip topping, crushed peanuts, and a cherry on my ice cream.”
He replied, “I can remember that without writing it down… a bowl of ice cream for me and a bowl of ice cream for you and on yours, you want a banana, chocolate syrup, whip topping, crushed peanuts, and a cherry on top.”
He returned fifteen minuets later and handed her a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. She just looked at him, teeth clenched she said, “I told you that you should have written that down!”
“Why”, he asked, “I brought you something to eat!”
She shook her head and said, “I told you, I wanted toast with this!”
TomBaker
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I went to the "Air and Space Museum"...it was just a big empty building.
Thomas Wayne
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Quote:
On 2011-01-17 15:16, Wravyn wrote:
[...]
She just looked at him, teeth clenched she said, “I told you that you should have written that down!”
“Why”, he asked, “I brought you something to eat!”
She shook her head and said, “I told you, I wanted toast with this!”


This entire paragraph - which forms the punchline - is much too wordy, and should be replaced with the wife simply saying:"You forgot the toast"

Brevity is the soul of wit.

TW
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
Wravyn
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Thank you Mr. Wayne, I understand your thoughts and accept your advice.
joseph
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Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five. ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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A man and a woman were sitting at a diner counter eating soup. The man nudges his wife and says, while pointing down towards the end of the counter, "see that old couple sitting down there? That's us in 10 years." His wife looks down the counter, then looks back at her husband and says, "You do realize that is a mirror."
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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Dangerfield said his wife was such a bad cook, they prayed after they ate...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Dynamike
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The magician's jokes were more than just corny, they were full of vegetables.
joseph
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in Monaghan's flat in Dungarvan when Sean O'Toole loses €700 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael Lennon looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone's got to tell Sean's wife. Who will it be?'
They draw straws. Cavan Colquhoun picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse. ' Discreet? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.' announces Cavan.

He goes over to O'Toole's house and knocks on the door.

Brenda O'Toole answers and asks what he wants.
Cavan declares: 'Your husband just lost €700 and is afraid to come home
Tell him to drop dead!' snarls Brenda. ' I'll go tell him.' says Cavan.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Wravyn
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Father Photius... That was good... I needed that laugh!
joseph
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If you're killed by a wild pig, does that mean you were boared to death? ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Wravyn
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A man was watching TV... porn when his wife was not in the room and he would quickly change the channel to a fishing show when she would enter into the room. After a few times of this his wife said, 'Just keep it on that porn station, you already know how to fish!'
Father Photius
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How do crazy people go through the forrest? They take the psychopath.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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It's always I before E. Isn't that weird?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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Two ants were running across a box of crackers. The second ant said to the first ant, "Why are we running so fast?". The first ant replied, "Can't you see it says 'Tear along the dotted Line'"
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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Last night I watched the Chinese acrobats..One hour later, I wanted to watch them again...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Wravyn
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Quote:
On 2011-02-07 23:01, joseph wrote:
It's always I before E. Isn't that weird?...

Whats odd is Einstein managed to get it wrong twice in his name.
Father Photius
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What did the Lone Ranger say when asked why the county forclosed on his ranch? I owe silver.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Bob Sanders
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Of course America is recovering. Look at your email. Who doesn't have more SPAM than before?
Bob Sanders

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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Some corny jokes (6 Likes)
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