Bill: Last night I had the wildest dream. I was standing in front of this door. And there was a sign on the door, and I pushed and pushed and pushed on that door and I couldn't get it open. So I pushed and pushed and pushed on it, but I couldn't get it open.

Will: What did he sign say?


Bill: It said "PULL"

Last Night I dreamt that I was eating a Giant Marshmallow. and this morning when I woke up my pillow was missing.

Man answers the door, and is annoyed to find a snail, so he throws it as far as he can.....Two week later, a knock on the door...The man opens it, and there is the snail, who says, "Why the heck did you do that?"....

I was bad at school, my teacher asked, "Who in Mythology was half man, half beast?" I answered, " Buffalo Bill!"

my teacher asked, "Who was Joan of Arc?" I answered, " Noah's Babe!"

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool and gave birth to mittens?

*GROAN*

How do you make a dog go Meow?
Put it through an electric meat saw.

How do you make a cat go woof?
Pour Petrol (Gas for the Americans) on it and set it alight.
(Wooof)

I love Rabbits, especially in a stew... or a soup... or...

*Wolf looks around to see if any animal activists are around*

10 rabbits in a row....If they take 1 step backward, do you get a receding hareline?....

Where does a rabbit go when it loses it's tail? To the retail store, of course.

Answer: Sis, boom bah!
Question: What is the sound of exploding sheep?


Answer: Sun and Moon.
Question: Name 2 things you can do at a nudist beach.

Doug tookmystory I was going to tell about how my dog lost his tail. in san francisco.

My dentist joined the Army.....He's a drill sargeant.......

What did the dog say when he got his tail cut off? "Won't be long now...."

I told my dentist, "Man, you're looking kinda down in the mouth today.".....

How do fighter pilots like their eggs?
Scrambled.

How do magicians like their eggs?
Fried.

How did Robin Hood like his eggs?
Poached.

How do pole-vaulters like their eggs?
Over easy.

My eyes bothered me, so I went to the optimist; He said "Oh, you'll be ok."...

What do you do when you find an old horse in your bathtub?
Pull out "the plug."

What did the mother do when her son put his socks on inside-out?
She turned the hose on him.

My wife's such a bad cook even the flies pitch in to fix the screen door....

My Cooking is so Good. that evrey time I cook at the Restraunt. evreyone knows I'm Cooking there Because they put up a Sign that Say's Sorry We're Open.

Knock knock. Whos there? Yer old lady? Yer old lady who? Yer old lady says to get yer butt out of this bar and get it home before she clobbers ya!