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The Donster
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I'll have to try the hearing aid gag but how do you milk it thru the whole show. PM me if you can.
bnadworn
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There will be a meeting of the ESP club. For more information please call.

- Brian Nadworny
"They say the hand is quicker than the eye but I won't believe it until I see it."
kOnO
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Some people think I'm a real pain in the neck; of course, others have a lower opinion of me.

kOnO
It is a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Dan McLean Jr aka, Magic Roadie
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Quote:
On 2005-01-24 10:16, The Donster wrote:
I'll have to try the hearing aid gag but how do you milk it thru the whole show. PM me if you can.


Hi, Don!
As Popo alluded, say it once in a normal voice. Later in the show, say exactly the same thing, but much louder, and with an impatient tone. A third, VERY loud, angry time will do it quite nicely!
Dan McLean Jr
Kent Messmer
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Montana
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Have someone hand you a licence plate (a real plate, not just the number) from off stage... read the number and say... you’ve left your lights on.
Rupert Bair
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The world's oldest man was going to come here tonight, to see his 100th Magic show, it was going to be a world record, but unfortunetley he's in hospital looking after his Dad.

Matt
Wolflock
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Would the lady who left the pram in the lobby please remove it. It's leaking.

(Come onto stage carrying a few car radios) A few of you in the audience have left your lights on in your vehicles, (show radios) don't worry I turned your lights off.

Please do not throw papers onto the stage. I have to sweep up after you all leave.
Wolflock
Pro Magician & Escapologist
Member of JMC (Johannesburg Magic Circle)
South Africa
The Donster
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Wolfie how about a few car tires too.
Wolflock
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Here in South Africa the crime is very bad. One of the joke I like to use is actually a joke of on of our South African comedians, (I think it was Mark Banks):

I substitute it for myself. Now to understand this you must know that car theft in Johannesburg is EXTREMELY High.

I was on tour in Johannesburg the other day and decided to make a car vanish, but no one was impresses as this was Johannesburg... (Leave the audience to twig on)

Regards
Wolflock
Wolflock
Pro Magician & Escapologist
Member of JMC (Johannesburg Magic Circle)
South Africa
TommyTheTremendous
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Love the license plate, clairavoyence, and the "Walk Around The World" lines. I have already used the rubberband one and it's a good kicker. These are great!
- Tommy Magic
Brent McLeod
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Good announcements-very funny some of them

Does anyone have anything similar regarding cellphones at a theatre etc

appreciate any comments

Thanks again

-Brent
Magic Enhancer
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Robert Haas
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Wow..what a thread! This is some good stuff. Hehehehe. I have abunch lined up for my 2nd Volume of the Magic Enhancer, but you will all have to wait and see.. Lol. If you're interested in funny announcements, you should check it out. It has a bunch of funny lines on it. I'd like to see more contributions. This forum rocks! Here's one for thought:

"Ladies and gentlemen, before you filed in we placed a complimentary lottery icket on the bottom of everyone's chair <<pause>> Just kidding. Enjoy the show!"

Robert Haas
http://www.MagicEnhancer.com
Robert Haas
Magic Enhancer
Quality magic products for the working professional.
www.MagicEnhancer.com
Magic Enhancer
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Robert Haas
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Brent,

"At this time, please turn off all cell phones. If you don't, it will be up for grabs tomorrow on Ebay".

On my CD, I have one that says "please turn off all cell phones, pagers, beepers, VCR, efrigerators, pacemakers, etc" and goes right down the list of a bunch of electronic devices. It usually gets a great reaction.

Robert Haas
http://www.MagicEnhancer.com
Robert Haas
Magic Enhancer
Quality magic products for the working professional.
www.MagicEnhancer.com
Brent McLeod
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Robert-

Look forward to your second volume

Thanks for the phone posts as well Cheers

We usually have a list of announcements in the 5-10 mins prior to show time & always works well-audience has a good time!!
Flec
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In a serious voice, "ladies and gentlemen, please could you make sure all mobile phones are switched off,because they are a ****ing nuisance. thank you."

when done in the right tone, you're not expecting the swearing and it kills! wouldn't advise this at kids shows tho....
M. Perk
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Hilton Head Island
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"Ladie and Gentleman we have a very special guest in the Audience tonight. Let's give a big hand for Carrot Top." Wait a few seconds and point to a lady, and say "Oh my goodness I am so sorry dear, you're not Carrot Top are you?"
Destiny
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M. Perk - good way to start off with at least one audience member hating you.

I'm intrigued by the name of your home. There was plenty of gossip that Paris performed the same act numerous times while she was in Australia, but we never thought to name an island after it.

Destiny
Brent McLeod
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Quote:
On 2007-03-23 14:57, Flec wrote:
In a serious voice, "ladies and gentlemen, please could you make sure all mobile phones are switched off,because they are a ****ing nuisance. thank you."

when done in the right tone, you're not expecting the swearing and it kills! wouldn't advise this at kids shows tho....


Flec-

Good post!!

Ive heard a similar one at the local comedy club I perform -definetly not for kids but went something like this-we were rolling in hysterics backstage & the audience just cracked up!!

The voice was deep & slow speaking...

Ladies & Gentlemen -

Please ensure all cellphones are switched off so not to interupt the performers or your fellow guests..
because if you don't- your a ****

Will leave it to you you to work out a well known 4 letter word!!!!
ROBERT BLAKE
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"ladies and gentleman I like to point out that this man (point to somebody)has become a farther today ..... (usualy applause) I like to now what his wife thinks about it".
Flec
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Birmingham, UK
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Well calling sumone a *** is a bit harsh, I wouldn't go that far lol. but again, depends what style you are. jerry sadowitz cud get away with it!
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