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harris
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Harris Deutsch
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When you are introduced what do you give the M.C.

My latest is short and sweet.

Please Welcome Harris Deutsch
Counselor

Laughologist

and

Brad Pitt's Stunt Double.

When I come out they see someone who more closely resembles

Jason Alexander

George

From Seinfield and other TV sitcoms

Be safe and creative.

Write, ReWrite ReWRite

REWRITE.......

Harris
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
paulajayne
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London England
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Now as Einstein said.


E=MC x MC (MC Squared)

Now "E" is a drug that is EVIL

SO

Evil = MC x MC (MC Squared)

Therefore MC = Root of Evil



Our MCs name tonight is Fred Bloggs

So Fred Bloggs is the root of all evil


Paula
Paula Jay - Magic to Remember -
---------------------------------
I once wrote a book on elephants, I think paper would have been better.
----
The Donster
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I'm thinking of one way of being introduced which should be good.
harris
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Harris Deutsch
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PaulaJayne,

Now that's an introduction.

Sounds like you have the "MC" Hammer(ed)

Thanks for sharing.

Harris
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
The Donster
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And if she doesn't have the MC Hammered... who knows... the MC might get Hammered.
harris
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Harris Deutsch
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Can't touch that....

Harris
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
paulajayne
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Glad you liked it.

LOL

Paula
Paula Jay - Magic to Remember -
---------------------------------
I once wrote a book on elephants, I think paper would have been better.
----
The Donster
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Or the MC could Drink WET CEMENT and Get STONED
Rupert Bair
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Donster I know about reusing jokes..... but geez lol.

Matt
The Donster
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Hey what do you expect from the Cheese State Cheesy as can be Smile
RonCalhoun
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http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......24&2

Check it out for help with intros.
Caleb Wiles
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Paulajayne, this really isn't an intro but it is a funny little mathematical equation like the one you mentioned.

If we assume that

Girls = Time X Money

Time = Money ("Time is money")

By subsituting, we get

Girls = Money X Money = Money squared

We also know that

Money = square root of evil ("Money is the root of all evil")

If we square both sides of this equation, we get

Money squared = evil

Substituting once more, we get

Girls = Evil

I've always thought this was funny. I hope it's understandable. It was hard to write without using mathematical symbols.

Caleb
Check out my Main Event project (DVD or Download).

"Magicians, stop what you're doing right now and pick this up!" - John Guastaferro

"Caleb Wiles is the real deal!" - David Williamson

"...my very highest recommendation." - John Carey
sniper1
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Yeah, money can't get you love, but it sure as hell puts you in a good bargaining position.
THE MOST CRAZY MAGICIAN ON THE MALTESE ISLANDS
Bill Palmer
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My intro goes like this:

Ladies and gentlemen, our entertainer this evening has toured all over the United States and Europe, bringing his own bizarre brand of comedy and magic to people of all types, from blue collar workers to royalty. He has opened for Louie Anderson, Elton John, Shirley Hemphill, and Harry Blackstone, Jr.

He has appaared at Houston's internationally famous Magic Island, ad he played the opening weekends at all three of the Laff Stop Comedy Clubs in the State of Texas.

He has appeared in Houston City Magazine, People Magazine and a host of other cheap tabloids you probably thumb through in the checkout line at the supermarket.

If he seems familiar to you, perhaps you have seen him when he played the part of Merlin the Magician at the Texas Renaissance Festival.

Ladies and Gentlemen ... Bill Palmer!
"The Swatter"

Founder of CODBAMMC

My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups."

www.cupsandballsmuseum.com
Marvello
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Quote:
On 2004-11-11 18:05, cjmagicman wrote:
Paulajayne, this really isn't an intro but it is a funny little mathematical equation like the one you mentioned.

If we assume that

Girls = Time X Money

Time = Money ("Time is money")

By subsituting, we get

Girls = Money X Money = Money squared

We also know that

Money = square root of evil ("Money is the root of all evil")

If we square both sides of this equation, we get

Money squared = evil

Substituting once more, we get

Girls = Evil

I've always thought this was funny. I hope it's understandable. It was hard to write without using mathematical symbols.

Caleb


not an intro either...

let x = y = 1

basic algebraic statement
x = y
multiply both sides by x
xx = xy
subtract both sides by y squared
xx-yy = xy - yy
factor
(x-y)(x+y) = y(x-y)
divide both sides by (x-y)
x+y = y
subtract both sides by y
x = 0
replace integer value as stated in first line
1 = 0

this fully allowable equation, following the rule...disproves our number system, if one can equal zero, it could equal any number, therefore one and one equals a brazilian
Never criticize someone else until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away from them and you will have their shoes.
MindMyst
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Quote:
On 2006-07-20 16:31, Marvello wrote:
not an intro either...

let x = y = 1

basic algebraic statement
x = y
multiply both sides by x
xx = xy
subtract both sides by y squared
xx-yy = xy - yy
factor
(x-y)(x+y) = y(x-y)
divide both sides by (x-y)
x+y = y
subtract both sides by y
x = 0
replace integer value as stated in first line
1 = 0

this fully allowable equation, following the rule...disproves our number system, if one can equal zero, it could equal any number, therefore one and one equals a brazilian


Hi Marvello,

By dividing your equation by (x-y) you are dividing by zero since x=y.
This is NOT allowed in the rules of our number system. Hence your conclusion fails by reductio ad absurdum.

Math rules!
Mindmyst
The Truth Will Set Your Fee
http://mindmyst.blogspot.com/
Marvello
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Quote:
On 2006-07-23 10:29, MindMyst wrote:
Quote:
On 2006-07-20 16:31, Marvello wrote:
not an intro either...

let x = y = 1

basic algebraic statement
x = y
multiply both sides by x
xx = xy
subtract both sides by y squared
xx-yy = xy - yy
factor
(x-y)(x+y) = y(x-y)
divide both sides by (x-y)
x+y = y
subtract both sides by y
x = 0
replace integer value as stated in first line
1 = 0

this fully allowable equation, following the rule...disproves our number system, if one can equal zero, it could equal any number, therefore one and one equals a brazilian


Hi Marvello,

By dividing your equation by (x-y) you are dividing by zero since x=y.
This is NOT allowed in the rules of our number system. Hence your conclusion fails by reductio ad absurdum.

Math rules!
Mindmyst


BINGO! Congratulations on discovering what a few of my math teachers failed to see Smile
Never criticize someone else until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away from them and you will have their shoes.
Vibono Magic
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Växjö,Sweden
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Good evening Ladys and the rest of you, my name is Vibono, but you may call me Master... or God... Your choise
Vibono Mirage
Magic entertainer and Balloon artist
Dannydoyle
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Why do you want to confuse an audience before you even start?

Do an intro with a bad joke, and what are they to expect the rest of the show?

Do a professional introduction, be funny when your there. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Heck you only have 30 seconds to capture their imagination in the first place, why start behind the 8 ball with a silly introduction?

Bills is fabulous with one laugh line. Go that route. Make yourself important, then let them find out your funny.

The intorduction is to "build you up" build expectation on the part of the audience. Get them going down the "wow is he cool" road. Why give them a chance to not be on board? An intorduction can be the whole show.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Lee Darrow
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Chicago, IL USA
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For my hypnosis show, we use a variation on the music that the Chicago Bulls use for their opening (but it's copyright free!) and do the following, which IS copyrighted...(written as it's read, the copyrighted version is spelled correctly).

AAAAAAaaaaannnnd NOW
<insert name of group> wants to ask YOU -
ARE YOU READY TO
SLUMMMMBER???

Please welcome, durect from Chicago, Illinois, the Official Hypnotist to Sandals Resorts in the Caribbean,
the Man EVERYONE Sleeps for
Hypnotist
LEEEEEEE Darrow!

And we have it recorded, so I don't have to worry about the MC screwing it up, ad libbing it or trying to be "cute" and ignoring it and doing "his own thing" because he's "a professional" and "knows better."

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
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