MUM TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning!”

MUM TAUGHT ME RELIGION
“You better pray that will come out of that carpet!”

MUM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL
“If you don’t straighten up, I’ll knock you into next week!”

MUM TAUGHT ME LOGIC
“Because I said so, that’s why!”

MUM TAUGHT ME FORESIGHT
“Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.”

MUM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

MUM TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM
“Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?”

MUM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone!”

MUM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER
“It looks like a tornado went through your room!”

MUM TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?”

MUM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times – don’t exaggerate!”

MUM TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
“Stop acting like your father!”

MUM TAUGHT ME ABOUT ENVY
“There are millions of less fortunate kids in the world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”

And most of all…

MUM TAUGHT ME THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
“I brought you into this world, I can take you out!”

Funny
chris

Hee hee. Some good ones there.

Yeah some great ones and more to come

Superb. great posts. Keep em comin

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

This is some funny stuff.

My mother taught me POSTURE.
"Pull your head in."

My mother taught me INFINITY THEORY
"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times."

My mother taught me ADVANCED DRIVING
"I'll turn this car around!"

My FATHER taught me MAGIC...he disappeared when I was seven.

He was actually walking down the street when all the sudden he turned into a pub!!!!

kOnO